...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
