Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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