Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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