It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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