bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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