i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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