Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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