Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
