I puked a lego.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
