Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
pray to the hookup gods
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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