Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
