Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize