I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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