3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
