Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
