take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
