Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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