He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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