Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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