Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
