This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
