bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
