if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
