I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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