I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
