and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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