More tranny stories later!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
