Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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