Whod you bang
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My ass is underappreciated
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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