3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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