he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you didnt know i had herpes?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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