I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
