Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Say something about gay babies.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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