Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
