I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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