Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
