my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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