I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
