I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize