Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize