I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize