You're my little dorito
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
