so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
