R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
