I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
