And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
