Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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