You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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