she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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