dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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