Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There's always time for handjobs
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
