Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
