does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
