she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
PANTIES FOUND
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