The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
