I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
