No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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