Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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