I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
