R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
