the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I see more hoeing in ur future
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