been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
