Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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