the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
