there's paper in my vomit.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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