So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
