out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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