Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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