I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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